Wednesday, December 28, 2016
Sunday, December 25, 2016
Saturday, December 24, 2016
Tuesday, December 20, 2016
Wednesday, December 14, 2016
Thursday, December 1, 2016
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
Sunday, November 27, 2016
Saturday, November 26, 2016
Friday, November 18, 2016
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
Wednesday, September 28, 2016
Tuesday, September 27, 2016
The September 26th "Debate" Take
For hours and hours punditry is discussing "who won", and lame tools like Chuck Todd are harping on Trump's amazing first 30 minutes because he made a few dings about NAFTA. Screw that. It was such an absurd contest that "win/lose" is ludicrous. Here's what's comparable: the Yankees vs. drunken Sunday softball aholes. Or how about Ali vs. the 47 year old neighborhood bully. Or Secretariat vs. the sway back nag that was pet to the Our Gang kids in one episode. She did her job - she's an accomplished states person, respected worldwide and by most Americans, despite the trashings of asshats like Andrea Mitchell, Chuck Todd, Fox and the rest of our idiot media. Donald Trump, always a bellicose nothing burger jackoff, should not have been anywhere near that stage (forget about being anywhere near nuclear footballs, God help us). He's a fraudulent demagogue, representing the end game of this sociopathic birther bullshit party of not Lincoln, but of the crass greedy lynchers Lincoln abhorred. He suckered a bunch of David Duke acolytes, and has been enabled by craven libertarians like Paul Ryan who need an empty suit to sign Ayn Rand Fantasy bills. It's shameful for to waste words or breaths on handicapping this goddamn thing. It's embarrassing for America right now. I hope I didn't leave anything out.
Wednesday, August 10, 2016
Stochastic Terrorism: Stochastic Terrorism: Part 1, triggering the shoot...
Stochastic Terrorism: Stochastic Terrorism: Part 1, triggering the shoot...: Stochastic terrorism is the use of mass communications to incite random actors to carry out violent or terrorist acts that are statistical...
Monday, August 8, 2016
Another excerpt from forthcoming Funny is Money: Life on the otherside of the TV screen
16. THICKE AND BURNETT: HERE TO STAY BUT
I CAN SCREW THAT UP
Fernwood 2Night
was a mock talk show starring Martin Mull and Fred Willard. It was actually a spinoff
of the quirky late night show Mary
Hartman, Mary Hartman, which took place in Fernwood, Ohio. Fernwood’s
name came from a small street bordering Metromedia Studios, once located on
Sunset and Van Ness in Hollywood, and at the time home to Lear’s company of
numberless classic TV shows. Mull played a character named Garth Gimble on the
show, who was actually killed by being impaled I think on a fireplace poker, or
something like that. Google it. On the Fernwood
2Night talk show, Mull plays Garth’s twin brother, Barth. The basic premise
is a bit pathetic, as it’s about a wannabe who’s fallen on hard times, and is
trying to keep his show business hopes alive by doing this talk show, and all
sorts of sidebar businesses, generally subtly promoted by the various guests
(weird products are a “product of Gimbleco”).
It was all very weird, wacky and fun – at once capturing a small town,
inexpensive talk show – complete with a TV tray as a desk – and great parody.
It was very unlike the hefty Norman Lear shows – like One Day at a Time or All in
the Family – so perhaps it explains why, and is perhaps good that, Norman
left it alone. It was, after all, a syndicated show. Who knows if it was a big
time money maker? But people of college age at the time remember it fondly. So
I’m told.
And I fit right
in, at long last – the irony of it all, that it was a Norman Lear company
production. We picked up on the formula right away – a seemingly straight
interview that turns funny. The first bit we wrote was about a popular local restaurateur
in Fernwood whose competitors are mysteriously disappearing, or catching on
fire. And of course it’s soon obvious the guy is a mobster.
The quirky interviews
– bogus authors and such – were the bread and butter of the show, and then
there were local eccentrics who would come on the show regularly. It was really
very entertaining, and much fun to work on.
Meanwhile, we had
been around long enough to try and help acolytes get started in the business. I
learned much later that the great Larry Charles, who worked a great deal with
Larry David, and directed several Sacha Baron Cohen movies, had been one such
acolyte who met with us during the Fernwood days (I guess after sending us
material), and we gave him encouragement. Who knew??
Head writer? Alan
Thicke. Yeah THE Alan Thicke, now often known as Robin Thicke’s father. Thicke was a very big deal in Canada before
he moved south. I think I first met him when I was doing the Sonny Bono show – he probably knew
Bearde and Blye, all being Canadians and he was wearing a suit. A writer
wearing a suit; I knew he must be from some other country. He later played the
Dad of Kirk Cameron, former child actor and current religious wack job, on Growing Pains. But I knew him when he
was a genius, herding cats as head writer of Fernwood. He would field the pitches, re-write stuff, cast people, and
schedule a show that was on nightly. My
understanding is that Norman Lear & Co. (and by the way, Norman Lear was never
a presence during the production that I can recall), wanted the show to be
completely improvised, but Thicke insisted on scripting. Thicke won out, under threat of firing. But
of course that didn’t stop Mull from insisting it was improvised. It wasn’t. All the script was on cue cards, and
Mull would read them. Now of course there was some meandering off the script, especially
during “interviews” but the show was far from being improvised, since the
interviews were really small sketches that required set ups and punch lines, so
to speak. People like Ken Mars, who played the crazy mayor of Fernwood, would
meander quite a bit. Let’s say Mull and Willard, and the superb regular cast
and guests, did a fantastic job of making it seem like it was improvised, like,
I suppose, the Tonight Show is (but
even Johnny had cue cards on the floor for his nightly monologues).
We caught on
quickly to the tone and the satire of it all, and thoroughly enjoyed the
experience. We would dictate our scripts into a tape recorder – not really my
preference - and a staff of assistants would transcribe them into scripts. There
was a hot Asian assistant who would work on the transcribing, Leslie Winner,
and we or some writers would throw in a few flirtatious remarks onto the tape. We had a good time collaborating.
I didn’t
especially like that system, but no doubt it was done in the interest of time.
There was a huge maw on this monster, as it was a daily show, although of
course not done live.
The audience for
the show was two-tiered, partly because indeed it was a “show within a show”,
and partly because some people saw the parody, and others didn’t. The Lear
people cleverly brought in an audience of mostly retired folks who did not see
the parody aspect.
The formula for the
show, at least as far as our writing of the basic “guest interview” bits was to
slowly suck people in that a guest was legit, and then eventually reveal the
craziness, i.e., the actual parody part. For instance one of our bits was an
author who wrote a book called “Winning Through Acting Crazy” wherein one can
manipulate or negotiate with people by seeming to be unglued, which is not far
from a book called “Winning Through Intimidation”. Of course the interview ends
with the “author” holding a gun on the hosts, sticking them up. They think he’s
merely demonstrating his methods, but he doesn’t relent. Another of our bits
was a guy, played by Fred Grandy, later of Love Boat and the U. S. House of
Representatives (!), who was supposedly a doctor who treated glaucoma with
marijuana. He said it was alarming how many people have glaucoma, and really
should take their medicine. Barth points out how the band is taking their
medicine. Of course by the end of the interview, the guy is really just a dope
dealer.
On Grandy - I also
played soft ball with him once, in a qausi-show business pickup game, wherein
we had to let his daughter, who was about 5, play. Well okay. But he remembered
well the glaucoma doctor bit, and as I say he went on to get elected to
congress from Iowa. I assume his
daughter is now a lovely 39 year old.
There were regular bits and
characters on the show, the main ones being Barth and Jerry themselves. Jerry,
the sidekick, masterfully played by the comic genius Fred Willard, was a dim
bulb who would go on comic, kookie rants. Barth was equally hilarious doing the
opening monologue – generally written by Harry Shearer.* * *
Get more stories about crazy fun times in Funny is Money published by The Ishmael Tree soon.
Monday, July 25, 2016
DNC HACKERY STUPID BUT AFTER NUREMBERG RALLY, NOT A DEAL BREAKER
This story was republished in Wonkette.
DNC CFO Brad Marshall suggested it might really help give Hillary an advantage if Dems started having God fights just like Republicans:
Read more at http://wonkette.com/604630/genius-dnc-staffer-who-suggested-painting-bernie-sanders-as-atheist-can-go-to-very-religious-hell#geuh15qx5Asj7SHA.99
DNC CFO Brad Marshall suggested it might really help give Hillary an advantage if Dems started having God fights just like Republicans:
It might may no difference, but for KY and WVA can we get someone to ask his belief. Does he believe in a God. He had skated on saying he has a Jewish heritage. I think I read he is an atheist. This could make several points difference with my peeps. My Southern Baptist peeps would draw a big difference between a Jew and an atheist.As a follow-up sent a few minutes later, Marshall explained a little further, because apparently he thought he wasn’t being quite clear enough:
It’s these [sic] Jesus thing.
Read more at http://wonkette.com/604630/genius-dnc-staffer-who-suggested-painting-bernie-sanders-as-atheist-can-go-to-very-religious-hell#geuh15qx5Asj7SHA.99
Like all hacked emails exposed, it reveals much dickheadedness, racism
or whatever (remember the Sony Pix hack?) It is indeed embarrassing and
unacceptable. And d'uh, so convenient for Trump's BFF Putin (allegedly)
to have engineered this leak (allegedly) on the eve of Philly, to
continue fucking with our elections (allegedly).
But here's the thing. Sanders, while "caucusing" with Democrats, has been NOT a Democrat, but an "independent" till very recently. The DNC works for Democratic candidates. And most certainly the DNC has been stacked with acolytes who consider Clinton the best candidate they have. So in that light, they did not have a warm feeling for Boine, atheist or not (that's just shitty campaign blue sky talk IMO). Now despite Brad Marshall's views as expressed, and I suppose the scheduling of "holiday" debates, there's no indication of serious undermining - rigging elections, suppressing votes, other forms of fraud, Donald Segretti dirty tricks. These were repeatedly given as excuses for Sanders losses, but no proof of such. Whereas there were many unforced Sanders errors. His not having his followers register as Democrats so they could vote in "closed" primaries is his fault. Still, he seemed to have nevertheless won a number of contests, became a big fucking deal, and is now, despite this hack, all in with Clinton (exploding many Bernie Bro heads), Was not the Nuremberg in Cleveland rally last week enough of a convincer to not to try to undermine the better party further? Sanders is NOT going to suddenly be nominated. So what's the play? I know there are fevered Nader2000 dreams of swinging the election to Trump because serves her right... but that'll be fun till January 21, 2017, when the armored tanks start rolling in.
But here's the thing. Sanders, while "caucusing" with Democrats, has been NOT a Democrat, but an "independent" till very recently. The DNC works for Democratic candidates. And most certainly the DNC has been stacked with acolytes who consider Clinton the best candidate they have. So in that light, they did not have a warm feeling for Boine, atheist or not (that's just shitty campaign blue sky talk IMO). Now despite Brad Marshall's views as expressed, and I suppose the scheduling of "holiday" debates, there's no indication of serious undermining - rigging elections, suppressing votes, other forms of fraud, Donald Segretti dirty tricks. These were repeatedly given as excuses for Sanders losses, but no proof of such. Whereas there were many unforced Sanders errors. His not having his followers register as Democrats so they could vote in "closed" primaries is his fault. Still, he seemed to have nevertheless won a number of contests, became a big fucking deal, and is now, despite this hack, all in with Clinton (exploding many Bernie Bro heads), Was not the Nuremberg in Cleveland rally last week enough of a convincer to not to try to undermine the better party further? Sanders is NOT going to suddenly be nominated. So what's the play? I know there are fevered Nader2000 dreams of swinging the election to Trump because serves her right... but that'll be fun till January 21, 2017, when the armored tanks start rolling in.
Friday, July 15, 2016
The Bern lost, we must move forward
Clinton vs. trump may be your nightmare, but HE LOST. Somebody wins,
somebody loses. You and he and Jane cand Rosario Dawson can spin it as
"rigged" (except for the contests he won). He did do a great job, and
had a great message - and still does. He made major mistakes, and
eventually lapsed into being a whiny politician (he was against the
super delegates before he was for them). I'm not going to bother fending
off the Bernie wilding that is inevitable, and seems determined to make
this rather cool guy into the next Ralph Nader. "The lesser of two evil
is less evil". Occupy reality. Hold Clinton's feet to the fire. Right
now, she is the best hope against TrumpKochFascism. There is not the
luxury to be "never Hillary" and shout down speakers at the convention
and all that crap - all this, and the fantasy of the emails being the
July surprise has already damaged her candidacy. So congratulations on
that.
Saturday, June 25, 2016
Happy 140th Anniversary of the Battle of Greasy Grass, Little Big Horn, Montana
140 years ago today, General George Armstrong Custer lost his bid to be 1876 Presidential timber.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWGAdzn5_KU&index=6&list=PLQiGyjoLwISBBAxrSkZT-zDvE5Hz19gzS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWGAdzn5_KU&index=6&list=PLQiGyjoLwISBBAxrSkZT-zDvE5Hz19gzS
Like Frankenstein Fearing His Monster
Apparently, Bernie Sanders has decided that a priority even bigger than beating Trump is to "change the Democratic Party" starting with its platform. The Democratic platform is important to the extent that it introduces the voting
public to the current ideals of the current Democratic Party and its
nominee, in front of generally a very large viewing audience. So fine,
if Bernie can effect those changes without rancor (from himself or
Rosario Dawson or Cornell West, et al.); they are really issues all Democrats have sought for decades — even Clinton, who has been sadly damaged by his fans, damage that only he can and must repair. But, that said, on the whole, the “platform” is
not binding nor is it long remembered. It is also not adhered to by the
candidate once elected because of personal priorities or the blockage of
congress (the changing of which should be part of a big, two prong effort by both Sanders and Clinton). Meanwhile, demonstrations are being planned by the most ardent fanatics of the Bernie realm —
and I hear, so far, no cautions by Sanders to moderate such hijinks. I
never have heard him seek to mitigate the excesses of his acolytes — in
fact after Nevada, he ginned things up IMO. Could it be that Sanders,
like Frankenstein, fears the monster he created? But he has finally,
yesterday, declared he will vote for Hillary Clinton, “most likely” (always wiggle room with this guy), so unless that was a 74-year-old brain fart, it’s a good indicator of where things are heading.
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
Bernie's End Game II
Why is this going on and on? Let’s get together and beat Trump (OR WHOEVER). I'm not sure if Sanders is actually delusional. But he knew the rules (including “super delegates”) when he decided, as a “revolutionary”,
to try and gain the nomination of a major national political party to
which he never belonged until just after breakfast. He made a fine
appeal, got a lot of folks engaged (who should god damn well be engaged
anyway), and demonstrated that progressive policies are popular and not
frightening. He has underscored corruption — mainly he has focused on his “own” party. And no doubt there’s some truth to that. But democracy in its most basic means somebody wins and somebody loses. He knew this rule too. But instead of grace, first he took to a Rubio-style strategy of declaring victory if Clinton didn’t win big enough in a particular primary. He then took to a Trump-style strategy, declaring assorted elections fraudulent, the system “rigged” (except for the ones he won),
and Clinton a warmonger. He refused to tamp down the excesses of his
fervent acolytes (damaging Clinton, rioting in Nevada, etc.) And now,
in the face of a Donald Trump presidency looming, he holds a meager hand
up against this same Democratic Party wherein his opponent has won more
votes, more delegates, more states, more everything. Yet he keeps making demands of both platform policies and for the head of Barney Frank, and even hocking those same “super delegates” to flip — the ones he derided as part of an undemocratic rigged system of the “establishment”. He’s become the Black Knight of Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
And in the process, he has demonstrably discouraged and enraged all
those new voters he has bragged of bringing on board. Hopefully in the
end his insurgency won’t have done more damage than good — that is arguable. I’ll try it again: “Fuck sides. What we really need right now is a little solidarity." - Mr. Pink.
Wednesday, June 8, 2016
Bernie's End Game
The first woman is the de facto nominee of a major party, and all
Sanders can say we’re going all the way because shit could happen — boo
Hillary! Now Barack Obama is the titular head of the “Establishment”.
Unlike 1968’s LBJ, he is not mired in a land war in southeast asia. He
hasn’t invaded Iran lately, he made peace. The economy has been in a
positive move since 2009. He pushed through the first national health
care program with great political cost. He and the Democratic party or
even the Clintons are not the problem. So why is he revolting against
them? Is it that “they”, led by this treacherous woman, are denying the
prize he thinks is rightfully his because reasons? (Certainly not
because of votes but then, you know, “rigged”). It’s the Republicans,
now personified by Donald Trump, who have been the problem, and the true
existential threat to the nation’s progressive well being. They have
raised obstructionism to an art form on a federal level — and on state
levels, sociopathic capitalism runs rampant. Never could understand
that about Sanders, this misdirected fire. I liked him very much, but
I’m stunned that his “all about me” end game is this delusional
demagoguery. He could go out like a hero, a champion, a real catalyst
for important change. Instead it appears his goal is to bring the
spirit of the Nevada Convention to Philadelphia, with fervent hopes of
Clinton’s indictment mixed in.
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